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A typical Coen Brothers production with an excellent cast. Watchable, funny, and quirky. I just wish they would produce movies with better cinematography. It looks like more like a home movie or “B” movie cinematography. I know they fluourish with that medium, but when they really have a good cast and decent plot line, make it look a little slicker.

Rating: 3.8 out of 5

An “Americanized” and in English takeoff on the Thai movie Bangkok Dangerous (1999). I guess the Pang Brothers thought that having Nicholas Cage star would make them money. I am sure it will bring some to the theater but this movie is a waste of time. Cage is getting old and showing it and the hairstyle in this movie doesn’t help either. The film trys to be “artsy” rather than gratuitously violent. Not enough body parts flying around. Also, the cinametography sucks and it might as well be in black and white.

Rating: 1 out of 5

Comic Book fodder starring Vin Diesel. If you are a Diesel fan it is watchable, otherwise save your money.

Rating: 1/2 out of 5

Exc ellent terrorist drama/thriller. Don Cheadle does an excellent job.

Rating: 4.3 out of 5

This will be a good movie for Jason Stratham fans. Really a remake of Death Race 2000. Watchagle as matinee fodder.

Rating: 2.5out of 5

A group of self-absorbed actors set out to make the most expensive war film. But after ballooning costs force the studio to cancel the movie, the frustrated director refuses to stop shooting, leading his cast into the jungles of Southeast Asia, where they encounter real bad guys.

Tropic Thunder may go down as Stiller’s first brush with genius, as well as new, rippling biceps. Countering them (and his pecs and all around movie star looks) is a grizzled, ’60s lingo-dropping African-American Sgt. Osiris, played by Australian thespian Kirk Lazarus, played by Robert Downey Jr. Osiris/Lazarus/Downey uses a play to Stiller’s vanity (how do you look so good? Diet, mostly…) to steal a map away from him at a critical point in the film. What’s really happening is Downey stealing every scene he’s in and, what ultimately makes Tropic Thunder so terrific, ensuring that it will never be thought of as “that Ben Stiller movie.” When it first comes out it will be the “Robert Downey plays a black guy movie” and then, once it settles on cable and DVD, will simply be known as Tropic Thunder, comedy masterpiece. They’ll be quoting from this one for years.

The premise is idiotic and simple – a Hollywood production of a Vietnam war tale is going horribly overbudget and the frazzled Brit theatre director on his first picture (played perfectly by Steve Coogan) takes the advice of the thousand-yard-staring vet (Nick Nolte) on whose book the film based. Put them in the sh*t.

A few misunderstandings, dormant land mines and run-ins with Burmese opium concerns later and you have the best actors-in-distress movie since Three Amigos. But where the Amigos had Randy Newman as a singing bush, Tropic Thunder has Robert Downey Jr. His Kirk Lazarus, the dude playing the dude disguised as the other dude, is a landmark in cinema. I’m not joking. Arriving at a time when racial identity is taking on new dimensions in American life, Downey’s blackface is a carnival of metatextuality, impervious to cries of racism. Partially because “Osiris” is so cool! He’s one of the hippest black characters since Shaft! (I should be careful here – I’m really speaking about Lazarus-as-Osiris, the character we see during the bulk of the film, as Downey’s Lazarus refuses to break character. The “Osiris” we see in clips of Tropic Thunder, the movie they are making in Tropic Thunder is just boilerplate.

All praise goes to Downey, of course, and the chutzpah to let him play this role, but the other performances are top notch. The bald, fat Tom Cruise you’ve heard about is quite good – one can’t help thinking about Cruise during the film’s set-up of Stiller’s Speedman, an A-lister that suddenly everyone despises.  Jack Black reels in his usual shtick a bit as the drug addicted a-hole, and second tier names Brandon T. Jackson and Jay Baruchel do more than hold their own. The big breakout, though, is young Brandon Soo Hoo – the best moppetty Asian kid in a Hollywood movie since Short Round.

Brandon Soo Hoo, as the head of the evil Opium ring who also loves “retarded movies,” made me choke on my complimentary popcorn. He manages to be adorable and ,somehow, also frightening. . . in a 13 year old broken English kinda way.

This is a refreshing departure from some of the more inane comedic roles Stiller has salvaged. Robert Downey, Jr. should be nominated for an academy award for his performance. And, of course, Jack Black had a typical scene in his underwear. While Stiller is a very talented actor and is very capable in a dramatic role as demonstrated in his earlier movie, Permanent Midnight, he seems to find greater pleasure flexing his pecs in a comedy. His comedic roles are getting a bit too stereotypical and some of his mannerisms which carry over from one role to the next, make them all sometimes appear the same. Nonetheless he is very talented and this movie may truly be his comedic pinnacle.

Rating: 4.7 out of 5 Jalapenos

It’s been nearly a year since volatile detective Ben Carson was suspended from the NYPD for fatally shooting another undercover officer, an accident that not only cost him his job, but fueled the alcoholism and anger that has alienated his wife and kids and left him crashing on his sister’s couch in Queens. Desperate to pull his life together, Carson takes a job as a night watchman at the burned-out ruins of the Mayflower department store, which was destroyed by a massive fire that devoured numerous innocent lives. As Carson patrols the eerie, charred remains of the store, he begins to notice something sinister about the ornate mirrors that adorn the Mayflower walls. Reflected in the gigantic shimmering glass are horrific images that stun Carson. Beyond projecting gruesome images of the past, the mirrors appear to be manipulating reality as well. When Carson sees his own reflection being tortured, he suffers the physical effects of his fractured visions. His sympathetic but skeptical sister Angela dismisses these bizarre “nightmares”€ as a consequence of his stress and guilt over the accidental shooting, but Carson’s estranged wife Amy, a no-nonsense NYPD medical 2 examiner, is less forgiving. Her husband’s increasingly erratic behavior frightens her, pushing his family farther away–and, she fears, it’s putting their children in danger. As Carson investigates the mysterious disappearance of a Mayflower security guard and its possible connection to his ghastly visions, he realizes that a malevolent, otherworldly force is using reflections as a gateway to terrorize him and his family. Carson must somehow uncover the truth behind the mirrors–and convince Amy to help him battle the greatest evil he has ever faced.

While this movie started out as the formularic “ghost in the machine” type movie where some malevolent spirit was caught in the movie and in order to stop it you have to figure out why someone was killed and perhaps bring someone to justice. As the movie progressed you knew it was too, too predictable and then it took a change. At least it kept you guessing a bit toward the end and the ending of the movie is also atypical, leaving it definitely open for Mirrors 2.

Rating: 3 out of 5 Jalapenos

The Dark Knight – 5 out of 5 Habeneros

Hellboy II: The Golden Army – 3.7 out of 5 Jalapenos

Hancock – 3.5 out of 5 Jalapenos

Step Brothers – 1.5 out of 5 Jalapenos

Mama Mia – 1 out of 5 Jalapenos

Swing Vote – 3.7 out of 5 Jalapenos

The Mummy 3 – a good romp – 4.2 out of 5 Jalapenos

Wanted is a six-issue creator-owned comic book miniseries, written by Mark Millar with art by J. G. Jones. It was published by Top Cow in 2003 and 2004 as part of Millarworld.^[1] It features an amoral protagonist who discovers he is the heir to a career as a super-villainous assassin in a world where such villains have secretly taken control of the planet.

The premise of Wanted is that all the world’s super-villains decided to band together in 1986 and use their vast collective powers — including mad science, magic and mind control — to eliminate all the world’s superheroes and rewrite reality in their own dark image. Prior to this the world was a brighter, more hopeful place. Superheroes are remembered as fiction (as they are in the real world), and behind the scenes a cabal of the leading super-villains runs the entire world. 25-year-old Wes was the most disaffected, cube-dwelling drone the planet had ever known. His boss chewed him out hourly, his girlfriend ignored him routinely and his life plodded on interminably. Everyone was certain this disengaged slacker would amount to nothing. There was little else for Wes to do but wile away the days and die in his slow, clock-punching rut. Until he met a woman named Fox. After his estranged father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits Wes into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his dad’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. As she teaches him how to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself. With wickedly brilliant tutors–including the Fraternity’s enigmatic leader, Sloan–Wes grows to enjoy all the strength he ever wanted. But, slowly, he begins to realize there is more to his dangerous associates than meets the eye. And as he wavers between newfound heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one could ever teach him: he alone controls his destiny.

This is a pretty decent action movie with some good special effects. Another opportunity for Angelina Jolie to have her body tattooed and to be macho like Lara Croft. Probably the worst of the movie is James McAvoy, who has at least “buffed” up to play the part like Toby McGuire for Spiderman. As far as his acting, this may be the best yet, although he has only a bit better acting skills than Hayden Christensen. He does well in the wimp aspect, but as the “hero” he is much lacking. He needs to get a haircut that doesn’t make his head look flat and if I had that much space between all my teeth, I would have them all crowned or pulled and replaced with dentures. Every time he opened his mouth it looked like a picket fence.

Anyway, it was still an ok movie, plenty of action and plenty of blood, gore and guts. A couple of plot twists also keeps you on your toes. I hope there is a sequel, at least to the movie – get a replacement for McAvoy.

25-year-old Wes was the most disaffected, cube-dwelling drone the planet had ever known. His boss chewed him out hourly, his girlfriend ignored him routinely and his life plodded on interminably. Everyone was certain this disengaged slacker would amount to nothing. There was little else for Wes to do but wile away the days and die in his slow, clock-punching rut. Until he met a woman named Fox. After his estranged father is murdered, the deadly sexy Fox recruits Wes into the Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his dad’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. As she teaches him how to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, Wes discovers this team lives by an ancient, unbreakable code: carry out the death orders given by fate itself. With wickedly brilliant tutors–including the Fraternity’s enigmatic leader, Sloan–Wes grows to enjoy all the strength he ever wanted. But, slowly, he begins to realize there is more to his dangerous associates than meets the eye. And as he wavers between newfound heroism and vengeance, Wes will come to learn what no one could ever teach him: he alone controls his destiny.

Rating: 4.2 out of 5 Jalapenos

The movie is inspired by an event from director Bryan Bertino’s childhood, among other things. The screenplay is also inspired by the events of the Charles Manson murders. Some of the earlier disturbances, (such as the smoke detector being moved), are based on ‘creepy crawling’, a game played by Manson and his followers where they would enter a victims house at night and rearrange furniture and other objects while the occupants slept. The core of the story is based on the murders that took place in Cabin #28 at Keddie Resort, in the remote township of Keddie, CA, where three people, Sue Sharp, John Sharp and Dana Wingate; were found tied up, stabbed, bludgeoned by a hammer. A fourth victim, Tina Sharp who had been with the group was found some years later, the body dumped 90 miles away at Feather Falls near Oroville.

The story begins with Kristen McKay and James Hoyt, a couple who return to James’ father’s isolated summer home in South Carolina, after coming back from a wedding reception, where we learn that Kristen refused James’ marriage proposal. The home is covered in rose petals and candles, indicating that James had planned a romantic dinner with the expectation that Kristen would accept his proposal. After the awkward arrival at the house, James calls his friend Mike (who helped him set up the whole vacation) and asks him to pick him up in the morning. The couple discuss their relationship, which results in a passionate clinch. Their passion is interrupted by a loud knock at the front door. James thinks it’s too late for someone to be coming to his home. As they get closer to answering the door, the knocking becomes louder and more abrupt.

James opens the door, and find that is a young woman (which we later find out is Dollface) who is asking if Tamara is home. James tries to turn on the porch light, but it was not working, not revealing her face. They tell her that nobody with that name lives there, and she then walks away. Kristen believed that she was probably lost. Kristen then finds that she is out of cigarettes, and James leaves the house to go and buy her another pack, after lighting her a fire.

After James leaves the house, Kristen hears another knock at the door. She finds it to be the same girl who knocked on the door prior to James leaving. The knocking is very aggressive, and Kristen becomes scared. She gets her cell phone out of her purse, but realizes it has no battery life. She charges it, then uses the house phone. She calls James, and tells him that the girl keeps knocking on the door, after Kristen told her she had already come by their house. Kristen wants James to stay on the phone with her, but James hangs up. While Kristen is in the kitchen, the masked man is in the dark corner behind her, just watching her. Kristen then hears the smoke alarm go off, so the disconnects it, and tosses it onto the ground. She decides to call James yet again, and finds that someone had cut the cord to her charger.

Frightened, she goes to the kitchen and gets a knife. She goes back into the room, and now finds that someone had put the broken smoke alarm on a chair. She goes into the next room, and hears something at the window. She slowly opens it and the masked man is at the window, and she is frightened. She screams and bumps into the record player, causing it to skip the same line “Quick Silver Girl” over and over again. Kristen finds that the front door is open, and as she peeks out, Dollface is trying to break in, but Kristen closes the door, then hides in the bedroom. The strangers are banging on the doors and windows, and Kristen pleads for them to leave her alone. Then, the banging stops. She hears footsteps coming from down the hall, and believes in to be the killer, but it’s James. She’s tells James that there’s someone outside, but James claims he saw nothing.

James then notices his phone was left in the car, and he goes to get it. While in the car, he finds that his phone is gone, and someone touches his back. He turns around, and there is nobody behind him. He gets out of the car, and he notices Dollface is standing in the driveway. He tells her to leave, but then hears Kristen call him. By then, Dollface has disappeared. After going inside, James tells Kristen they need to leave. They both get into the car, but a truck drives into their driveway behind them. James looks at the driver’s seat, and it’s Pin-Up Girl. She begins ramming their car, and Kristen spots the masked man in front of them. They both get out of the car, and run back inside.

James gets his father’s shotgun and bullets. Outside, they see Dollface standing on the lawn. They go back to the front door, and James tells Kristen he’s going to open the door, and he wants her to just run. But before James can open the door, the masked man hacks the door with an axe. Kristen is screaming, and they both push a desk to block the door. The masked man keeps on breaking the door, but James shoots at him. He did not know if he missed or if he got him, but the couple hide in the hallway closet, waiting for the killers to come down the hall so he can shoot them.

Outside, James’ friend Mike has arrived. He can’t reach either of the two by phone. Mike enters the house, and a record is playing. He also notices a broken glass on the floor and a few signs of forced entry. He walks down the hallway, and the masked man who is equipped with an axe, follows behind him. James, believing Mike to be the killer, shoots and kills Mike. James turns to Kristen, and tells her that he wasn’t wearing a mask. They go up to the body, and identify it to be Mike. James then decides to go to the farmhouse and use and old radio there to call for help. As he leaves, the couple notice that the killers mock James by writing “KILLER” on the window in blood.

As James is going to the farmhouse, he then finds Pin-Up Girl searching for the couple with a flashlight. As James plans to take his shot on her, she spots him and the masked man runs up behind him, and knocks him unconscious. Meanwhile, Kristen is scared out of the house. In an attempt to simply run away, she trips and injures her leg. She limps into the shed nearby, (which actually turns out to be the hiding spot of the killers) being secretly followed by Pin-Up Girl. Kristen attempts to use a radio there, but her conversation is cut short by Pin-Up Girl, chopping the radio into pieces. Kristen flees back into the house and sees the masked man walk into the bedroom. She then hides in the cupboard and watches the masked man sit down at the table and look around. As she is doing this, Dollface whispers “You’re gonna die.” The masked man then throws James’ injured body into the house, and he tells Kristen to run. She goes into the bedroom, and tries opening the window, but it’s shut. The bedroom door slowly opens, and Kristen slowly walks to the door. She goes out, and the masked man grabs her by her hair, and slams her face into a picture on the wall. He then drags her unconscious body into the living room.

The shades are opened to show that morning has come, and the three strangers begin taking off their masks. Kristen, in a desperate attempt to be saved, tells them that ‘they don’t have to do this.’ She then asks them why they did it, to which Dollface replied “Because you were home,” which remains unexplained. A possible meaning would be that the strangers just kill for the fun of it.

Although their faces are never fully revealed to the audience, removing their masks shows that they will soon carry out their plans to kill the couple.

Ignoring Kristen’s pleading, the strangers each take turns stabbing James in the stomach, who moans in pain while Kristen is forced to watch. Kristen is then stabbed in the chest and shots of their home and the outdoors are shown while her screams can be heard. The three strangers are then seen driving away in a pick-up truck and stop beside two boys who are walking around handing out religious pamphlets. Dollface asks for a pamphlet and is asked if she is a sinner, to which she replies, “Sometimes”. Pin-Up Girl then proclaims, “It’ll be easier, next time”, as the truck drives off.

The last scene shows the two boys entering the home and discovering the couple untied and James dead, with Kristen presumed dead. One of the boys kneels down to Kristen and is about to touch her when she suddenly wakes up and begins screaming hysterically.

The movie was reminiscent of Vacancy, Funny Games, and When a Stranger Calls (and the other “home invasion” genre movies). This is obviously a psychological thriller as well as a horror movie. You know from the beginning things won’t end well and as the movie progresses, you wish the plot would move a bit faster. I think you could get the same effect, or maybe intensify it a bit, if the movie has been cut 20-30 minutes. Even from the trailer ads, you know that the outcome will not be good, so you just wonder if they can make it gory, diabolical, sadistic, and right down scary. Well, this one did elicit many jumps and even a few screams from an unsuspecting (albeit stupid) audience. Probably the scariest thing is that this was based on true events and anyone that keeps up with the news knows that such things as this are happening with increasing frequency. Buy a gun, keep your doors locked, put a peep-hole in your entrance doors, and preferably ignore anyone knocking on your door late at night. Oh, yes, one other thing, keep your cell phone charged.

Rating: 2.5 our of 5 Jalapenos